I cannot push aside
the memory of injustice
fueling the engine of
your supply and my demand.
All are soiled in it;
the way of the world,
it is our way,
but not mine anymore.
Bound by red thread,
I’ll tend our union’s garden.
***
She was the first breath of spring
puncturing a stubborn morning frost.
She was jazz blooming from blues,
she was sacred verse bursting from psalm.
She was unrefined snorts and belly-laughs;
she was knowing eyes that knew better.
She was a midnight pub-crawl;
she was of pre-dawn shared comfort food.
She was nothing imagined
and everything desired;
she was love’s bloom; a promise kept.
And I am the fool hunter
who grasped at her corona,
eternally driving her from my reach.
***
Yes, I’m still overdosing on Hamilton. I’d ask Wifey to intervene, but we’re on this bender together. I have no regrets.
I’m sure we’ll return to normal soon, but have you seen my country’s normal? I say, let’s take all the manufactured joy we can get.
Imagine a world
where property value,
tax-paid infrastructure,
the rule of law,
justice’s infuriatingly slow
machinations,
tact, decorum,
gold prices and golden manners,
collective peace-of-mind,
tranquility of greater-good,
and the easy flow of
status-quo traffic
and blissful return to
whatever we consider
our communal normal
were all more important
than the unconscionable
completely avoidable
death of your son,
or brother,
or father,
or lover.
Really imagine it though,
and feel free to sub-out
and imagine your daughter,
sister, or mother instead
murdered by the state;
I didn’t recommend it
because I’m no monster.
Now sit with that moment,
that overcooked despair
and rage as your civic institutions
tell you with a dismissive shrug
that his death was unavoidable,
his assailants, servants of the state
are good and normal in completing
the task of snuffing-out his light
and your reaction to his
completely avoidable death
is completely unreasonable and
lives as proof of the sole reason
why guys who look like him
– and yes, who look like you too –
are routinely slaughtered by the
state-sanctioned violence
in the first place.
He’s never coming back,
his voice forever silenced
and there is no one
with leveraged power
to champion his cause,
to validate your grief,
nowhere to turn
to wring meaning from
your loss.
What would you do?
What is your next move?
Whatever you decide,
best be quick about it.
Monday’s coming,
and you’d better be on time
with a smile on your face
and a song in your heart.
Wouldn’t want to give anyone
within the superstructure
the wrong idea
that you’re angry or resentful
or one of those malcontents
out there
disrupting
the established order.
***
“But it is not enough for me to stand before you tonight and condemn riots. It would be morally irresponsible for me to do that without, at the same time, condemning the contingent, intolerable conditions that exist in our society. These conditions are the things that cause individuals to feel that they have no other alternative than to engage in violent rebellions to get attention. And I must say tonight that a riot is the language of the unheard. And what is it America has failed to hear? It has failed to hear that the plight of the negro poor has worsened over the last twelve or fifteen years. It has failed to hear that the promises of freedom and justice have not been met. And it has failed to hear that large segments of white society are more concerned about tranquility and the status quo than about justice and humanity.”
– Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
I borrowed these helpful links from https://tumblr.theblackout.org/
Donate/Boost/Sign:
Mental Health Resources:
Tips for Organizing/Protesting:
Stay safe. Much love.
I.
I dreamt I died today,
and this was my last poem,
which isn’t a big deal;
I have died twice before,
run-through at seventeen,
undone at twenty-eight,
Respawning’s not instant;
often years overlap
some pieces remain lost,
the burn unrelenting
as pain from phantom limb
connect me to this realm.
Vast, and marvelous, we
are no more than my dream;
reality is me.
We cling to each other,
turbulent distractions,
our skin, burdened touchstones;
massaged lies, we embrace
pleasure clawed from our truth;
we’re so very alone.
Love me without knowing,
you’ll never see the seams
that bind the shame that is.
I would taste better as
ashes upon your tongue.
Love me until the void.
II.
Nothing warned me; nothing prepared me.
There was no vocabulary
for the remnants, for when the sun
turned away, withholding all of nature.
Nothing foretold the catastrophe,
nor was it immediately known, but felt
in phases; a series of cascading
calamities leaving the world dimmer
in stages as sources of nourishment
withered and fell like so many dominoes,
and soon, I found myself face-down
on momma’s couch, immobile,
unresponsive to external pleas to eat
or demands to get my shit together.
Soon, external voices no longer registered
as loud as the absence of the one who
no longer cared if I ate or starved,
and so I fell, falling behind the
dimming event horizon, leaving
only with what I entered; ending
as I began, staring into the space
between atoms as fields dissolved
and barriers melted to nothing.
III.
Perhaps in another life,
in a reality we’ll never know
I persevered against your will
shattered your absurd barriers
and married you.
I made you happy, filled your cup,
and exposed your doubts
and the specters of my many fears
as foolhardy fairy tales.
We had a girl and fought furiously
to name her; I wanted Olivia,
you demanded something African
that I couldn’t pronounce.
We compromised, choosing Nefertari
with Olivia as her middle name and
I was a good dad.
We loved each other
and lifted each other up,
instead of yielding to fear,
spite, and desperation,
but I guess if that all came to pass,
I wouldn’t really be me,
you’d be someone else,
and our daughter, a specter;
just another fantasy
of a foolish old man.
Stare into the void long enough
and the phantoms name themselves.
IV.
We all feel that lonely, empty,
meaningless pull towards twilight
of eternal nightshade where the
unknowable hell-verse beckons
as a perverse lullaby to our
seemingly incessant suffering
and so we are compelled to seek
its finite serenade towards infinity.
We hope to name it in order
to cast it back into its bottle;
we will ourselves to defy it
by defining it for ourselves, for
to chronicle it is to vanquish
its unshakable power over us.
We scrawl the void in ink and blood
and then someone labeled it poetry.
V.
In some eastern religions,
philosophies, and fiction,
heaven and hell are recast
as reincarnation and
the void; an endless chasm.
It is said that if our souls
carry too much vile darkness
at the instant of our death,
instead of our soul’s rebirth,
the last remnants of our light
are cast into the abyss,
never to feel warmth again,
left alone in an endless
chasm of despair alone
with the dreadful comfort of
all terrible emotions
imaginable to us.
At first blush, that doesn’t sound
all that bad to me; in fact,
it sounds like a fine place where
the best poetry is forged,
but never allowed to see
the light of a brand-new day.
But on second thought, perhaps
eternal life in darkness
as death’s greatest unshared poems
really is a hellish fate
to avoid at all cost.
***
Shattered glass,
streets littered with trash,
defiant fists raised,
“peace-keepers” overwhelmed.
You can only push
cornered, hopeless folks so far
before they push back.
Tomorrow, streets will be cleaned,
windows boarded and replaced,
shops will reopen,
life will continue
as if the raspy cries
for fair wages and trades
had never happened.
The pulse of cosmopolitan life
requires each person
to know their place in the world
and do their part,
but what of those who
wholeheartedly reject the
collective vision?
They’re dismissed as crazy
until they begin to wake others.
Then they are swept away.
Next comes more broken glass,
sometimes on May Day, and
often on any random day
after disruptive, “crazy”
voices are silenced, but
that’s easily swept away too.
Pay those crazy, cornered,
fist-pumping folks no mind.
Tomorrow the stores will open on-time.
***
NaPoWriMo Day 30: Today’s prompt:
And last, but not least, our final (optional) prompt! In some past years, I’ve challenged you to write a poem of farewell for our thirtieth day, but this year, I’d like to challenge you to write a poem about something that returns. For, just as the swallows come back to Capistrano each year, NaPoWriMo and GloPoWriMo will ride again!
Sorry to end NaPoWriMo on such a dismal note. I could’ve gone with some type of spring renewal, but I guess I wasn’t there.
I was just sitting here thinking about how the COVID-19 pandemic will most likely (and rightfully) squash the May Day protests tomorrow, but our US (and nearly global) capitalist economy is just chompin’ at the bit to throw our sick, broken bodies back into the churn, risk-assessment be damned. I hear talk of rushing to get “back to normal”, and it just makes me wonder, normal in relation to what, exactly?
Thanks for hanging with me this month. I’ll see you back here next year, but until then, feel free to hang out and read my infrequent poetry postings.
What can I say, Wolf?
I’ve never owned any pets.
Too much overhead, too much work,
oh, and also because of slavery.
Yes Wolf; I mentioned pet ownership
and slavery in the same breath,
but it’s not like you’re gonna call me on it;
you’re just a dumb dog,
one that’s been dead
for nearly thirty years.
But fine, I remember those soulful eyes,
so I’ll try to explain it.
There’s something to be said of those
unlucky in birth who persevere
against all odds
to overthrow their oppressors in triumph.
Americans especially love these
underdog stories,
as our recorded history is full of them.
But what of the other stories?
With Tubman, Douglass, and The Amistad
as outliers of four-hundred years of
mostly humdrum,
garden-variety slavery,
with all the standard rape, abuse, and
outright murdering of slaves too stupid
to mask their intelligence,
how many stories of the voiceless do we know?
It’s weird, Wolf. You were a dog – a beautiful
German Shepherd/Doberman Pinscher mix
– but when I think of all the voiceless slaves
who were born and died in
unconscionable suffering,
I think of you.
To be honest, Wolf,
I haven’t thought of you in ages,
and that’s a shame, but
the less remembered
of your tragic life and death,
the better for me.
Or perhaps not; after all,
I’ve left your memory as it were, untamed,
but there it sits upon my return,
waiting patiently
only for me.
What if my sidestepping your legacy
is but one more injustice for you?
Our lives were intertwined for so long,
with much of the trauma descendent
directly from my ancestors in bondage.
You weren’t even my damn dog,
but I was your reluctant caretaker,
and there’s nothing poetic about
feeding you and cleaning up your shit,
but I felt your loyalty
and your agony in-kind.
Wolf, you were an idiot of a dog,
raised on ignorance and cruelty,
and yet you were still sweet and loyal.
I’d given up on hiding grandma’s tools
of discipline, as she’d just find herself
a sturdier switch to snap on ya,
but I taught you to sit using head-rubs
instead of grandma’s rubber hose;
you were always a good boy.
I wish I had told you that more.
I remember you having the audacity
to demand more head-rubs from me,
swatting at my hand with your paw
like Bunky the cat taught you,
and I happily gave them to you.
I wish I’d given you all the head-rubs.
But I’d graduated the basement
and fled to the Navy,
making the cut despite the odds.
I heard of your fate secondhand,
and I wept real tears over a freaking dog
that I didn’t even own
who lived his entire existence
chained to a waterpipe
in a half-finished basement,
life snuffed-out, most likely,
by someone well-known and trusted.
Can you imagine that?
Anyway, yeah,
I’ve never cared for any pets.
Too much overhead,
too much work,
just too much.
***
NaPoWriMo Day 29: Today’s prompt:
And now for our daily prompt (optional, as always). Today, I challenge you to write a paean to the stalwart hero of your household: your pet. Sing high your praises and tell the tale of Kitty McFluffleface’s ascension of Mt. Couch. Let us hear how your intrepid doggo bravely answers the call to adventure whenever the leash jingles.
If you don’t have a pet, perhaps you know one or remember one who deserves to be immortalized in verse. For inspiration, I direct you to a selection from an 18th-century poem by Christopher Smart, Jubilate Agno, in which the poet’s praise for his cat ranges from “For he is docile and can learn certain things” all the way up to “For he counteracts the powers of darkness by his electrical skin and glaring eyes.” Personally, I’m lucky if my cat doesn’t just sleep the day away, but I find her pretty delightful all the same.
This was painful to write, and I nearly scrapped the whole thing. I kept trying to walk away from it, but it kept calling me back.
It’s unpolished, and I won’t be revisiting it at all, but Wolf deserves to have his story told.
This thing is defective.
It fails to connect,
except that when it does,
it will burn itself out.
But it almost never does.
The camouflage is
impregnable to a fault;
if worn for too long,
crisis of identity will occur.
The bubble is beautiful,
if its theory is explained,
which it never is.
It protects by deflection,
gestating its own physics,
lighter than oxygen,
sturdier than steel,
ridicule-resistant,
but nonexistent
once integrity
is compromised.
This could lead to a
cascading failure
and frozen self-reflection.
The external shielding
and internal barriers
can become polarized, and
is susceptible to both
self-aggrandizement
and self-loathing
meeting incidentally,
annihilating everything.
At this critical point,
mixing with alcohol
and cannabis products
is not recommended
but it is most likely
inevitable.
Overall, all it’s really good for
is writing poetry,
cracking mean-spirited jokes,
overanalyzing its passions and joys,
and waiting for death.
Retention recommended,
but only for the jokes.
***
NaPoWriMo Day 27: Today’s prompt:
And now for our (optional) prompt. Today, I’d like to challenge you to write a poem in the form of a review. But not a review of a book or a movie of a restaurant. Instead, I challenge you to write a poetic review of something that isn’t normally reviewed. For example, your mother-in-law, the moon, or the year 2020 (I think many of us have some thoughts on that one!)
Well that was easy…
NEW GAME?
Not so much a question
than an inevitable
blank slate
new opportunity
sitting upon invisible embers
that were once entire
worlds unto themselves;
hexadecimal monuments
to finger dexterity
pattern recognition
and time
NEW GAME?
Not so much an option
than a mockery of
time lost
oh so much time lost
pressing the right buttons
at the perfect times
with only the finger-blisters
to show as testament to
almost finishing
NEW GAME?
flashing dispassionately
as if the old game
existed only in my
frenetic skull
but for a flicker of light
a moment of darkness
and the whirring of renewal
as electrons fire on command
oblivious to their renegade
static cousins outside
who ended my noble quest
so ignobly
NEW GAME?
pulsing in-sync with
the throb of fury
flowing through vessels
near my temple
impressively concealing
the internal rage
rivaling the storm outside
stifling the screams
that would illicit
told you so’s
from mom
NEW GAME?
Nah man
not right now
but you haven’t seen
the last of me
soon, very soon
vengeance will be mine
mark my words
in hexadecimal or binary
proton or electron
photon, quark, or string
or whatever vile language
your forked tongue speaks
I don’t even care
how long it takes
I will break you
***
NaPoWriMo Day 17: Today’s prompt:
Today, I challenge you to write a poem that features forgotten technology. Maybe it’s a VCR, or a rotary phone. A cassette player or even a radio. If you’re looking for a potential example, check out this poem by Adam Clay, which takes its central metaphor from something that used to stoke fear in the hearts of kids typing term papers, or just trying to play a game of Oregon Trail.
Back in the late 80’s/early 90’s, NES and SNES introduced rudimentary game saving features. It was far from the robust storage features of modern games like the PS4 or whatever Xbox is out now. This feature was contingent upon a rather volatile battery backup function inside game cartridges. If the internal battery lost its charge, or if you were dumb or arrogant enough to play your game during a thunderstorm as a lightning strike killed power (like, oh I dunno, a teenage version of me), you lost ALL of your data, forcing you to start from scratch. Hours and hours of gameplay lost forever in the blink of an eye. Kids today will never know that struggle, and I’m glad for them.
Like petals falling from our view
Your loss now added to our snow
Compassion bright as any blue
Like petals falling from our view
Our spring, a timeless deja-vu
We wait our turns to fall below
Like petals falling from our view
Your loss now added to our snow
***
NaPoWriMo Day 12: The Triolet:
For today’s prompt (optional, as always), I’d like to challenge you to write a triolet. These eight-line poems involve repeating lines and a tight rhyme scheme. The repetitions and rhymes can lend themselves to humorous poems, as well as to poems expressing dramatic or sorrowful moods. And sometimes the repetitions can be used in deceptive ways, by splitting the words in a given line into different sentences, and making subtle changes, as in this powerful triolet by Sandra McPherson.
Years ago, I was addicted to writing triolets, so this was a welcome blast from the past.
It was also a good way to honor the passing of a shipmate I served with on the USS Ingraham from 95 until 98. Ronnell “Brooklyn” Warren passed away on March 30. Dude had a photographic memory and knew my full name, date-of-birth, birthplace, and social security number even twenty years later, which should’ve been somewhat alarming, but he was just so damned kind-hearted, and it reflected well upon his character that it never even occurred to him to use his superpowers for nefarious means.
Quite frankly, Ronnie was the kindest, sweetest man I have even known. He was also a poet with an optimistic voice.
He always had a kind word for everyone. He was one of the few people in my life whose positive attitude made me want to step-up and just be better to get on his level. Hell, I think he loved the 90’s Chicago Bulls more than I did! I heard that he went quickly and unexpectedly, from a heart attack, but I don’t know the details.
It made me think about how we will all soon be parting from one another.
I’ve never dealt with this type of loss well; I tend to stuff it down where the feelings can’t hurt me anymore. And though we hadn’t spoken or kept in touch since our ship’s decommissioning ceremony, this is a most unkind cut that will take some time to stuff down.
Ron, your passing over was most unwelcome news. I’ll drink one for you. We have the watch, shipmate.
it was an Easter Sunday
she wanted the white lilies
or maybe they were tiger
or stargazers; who can say
I’m no botanist for sure
but I gifted them to her
roots in-tact for repotting
she squealed with impish delight
showering me in kisses
I fought her back, kiss for kiss
she said she loved me, then gasped
asking if that was ok
I assured her that it was
and that I loved her as well
when can I see you again
she asked between prolonged hugs
her sparkle drawing me in
as soon as we are able
I said, strengthening my grip
she blinked back tears with a wink
cramming with delicacy
her potted plant and body
into her car to depart
I’ll text you when I make it
she said with one more blown kiss
she was true to her word, but
I never saw her again
looking back, it hurts to breathe
but still, it was for the best
as we were from different worlds
I don’t know what lilies mean
but the ones I got for her
are probably long dead now.
***
NaPoWriMo Day 11: Today’s challenge – Language of Flowers:
Our optional prompt for the day is based on the concept of the language of flowers. Have you ever heard, for example, that yellow roses stand for friendship, white roses for innocence, and red roses for love? Well, there are as many potential meanings for flowers as there are flowers. The Victorians were particularly ga-ga for giving each other bouquets that were essentially decoder-rings of meaning. For today, I challenge you to write a poem in which one or more flowers take on specific meanings. And if you’re having trouble getting started, why not take a gander at this glossary of flower meanings? (You can find a plain-text version here). Feel free to make use of these existing meanings, or make up your own.
I found out retroactively that the white lily is associated with purity and is often used as a funeral flower. Also, in Buddhism, tiger lilies represent the virtues of mercy and compassion. Make of that what you will.
Stargazers symbolize lots of stuff. Google it for yourself. This blog poem about flowers is over!
Builder of Worlds With Words
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