On Grudges and Conservation of Energy

On Grudges and Conservation of Energy

Holding grudges is a young man’s game.

Grasp that lightning if you must;
harvest it, gorge yourself upon it,
repurpose it to power your safe haven,
getaway vehicle, or doomsday device,

whichever you choose;
I’m not qualified to judge.

Ask my mother.
She knows. She knew

way back when I was 16 years old
that I wasn’t shit

and my grudge-fueled quest
to prove her wrong succeeded
at proving her both absolutely wrong
and unequivocally right like an
accidental Schrodinger’s cat experiment.

Inability to forgive
converted my potential into kinetic,
driving my momentum
into achievements I never imagined for myself,

and it also left me lifeless,
dead-eyed,
inside an unremarkable box,
waiting to be discovered by wiser forces.

Forgiveness is for old folks
who no longer have the energy for grudges;

many of whom are gathering
their remaining momentum
in a last-ditch effort of
getting into heaven.

Suddenly
the meaning of The Lord’s Prayer
crystallizes before them,
and they’re angling for a slice of salvation pie.

I don’t know much about forgiveness,
but I do know how it feels to run out of steam,
finding myself alone with regret. Nowadays,

I find both grudges and forgiveness
equally inert.

All that matters now lie within
taking accurate readings
and observing what is.
***

Inspired by Poets United Midweek Motif ~ Forgiveness, hosted by Sumana Roy.

12 thoughts on “On Grudges and Conservation of Energy

  1. I wish I had written this poem! The journey and the images are perfect. I might have added gritting teeth and locking jaws in the “just watch me” stance–but I knew:
    “Inability to forgive
    converted my potential into kinetic,
    driving my momentum
    into achievements I never imagined for myself” and all the rest. Bravo!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Barry,
    Your poetic words and sense, must resonate with many. In youth we are all so smart and so wise…Your words atest to the reality of later years, when we seek to forgive our own ways…only through experience….(Forgiveness is for old folks who no longer have the energy for grudges) Superb!!

    Liked by 1 person

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