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Elegy of Laughing Duets
The officer smirked, trying not to laugh. After admonishing dad for speeding, he walked back to his vehicle with a funny story for his coworkers; a tale of my dad slyly lying about the urgency of momma’s baby, due to deliver my brother two months from now, and of momma over-selling the shit out of her non-labor, as I, a terrified six-year-old, observed in saucer-eyed, horrified silence.
We must’ve been quite the sight; dad explaining his urgency to the cop with a softness that matched the long shadows just after the sun dipped below the spring-sprinkled horizon; momma – unprompted, on-cue, and with a scenery-chewing overacting exhibition to make Shatner wince – unsuccessfully selling the urgency dad had just lied about with the authenticity of a wildlife film narrator; me in the back seat, wide-eyed and instinctively quiet, taking it all in; the patrolman’s flashlight, an impromptu stage spotlight for our three-person routine (four if you’re counting my brother, but the cop didn’t buy it, so let’s just go with the trio.)
After a beat of silence, our eyes finally adjusted from the shock of the cop’s harsh halogen giving way to soft shades of amber, dad shook his head, a grin growing on his darkened face. He looked back at me. “You cool, B.J.?”
I nodded, and squeaked out a, “Yeah.”
“Yeaaaaah?” he repeated, mimicking me.
“I mean… yes,” I corrected myself with a smile, relieved that dad sounded like dad again.
We didn’t have a term for code-switching back then. It just felt like Dad was bilingual and was training me to be too. I knew that whenever he broke out the Wildlife Film Narrator voice that shit just got real. He always used it when white people were involved, and always when those white people were in positions of authority.
I instinctively knew to get my shit together whenever he used it.
If anyone heard his everyday-people vernacular, they’d have a hard time reconciling the fact that both voices were his. When dad was being dad, he always reminded me of Shaft-meets-Sho’nuff-the-Shogun-of-Harlem; brassy, cocky, and cool-as-hell. I admired both voices, knowing that Sho’nuff was dad’s native tongue. Both were authentic in a way; Sho’nuff was my dad, the Film Narrator was the long shadow cast by dad.
Momma code-switched too, but it never sounded as jarring as when dad did it. Mom’s tone was always a hairsbreadth lower than frantic; it was like she was barely holding things together in her head. But momma always sounded like momma, even when she was performing. Her professional voice reminded me of how folks talked on Dynasty before someone dipped in diamonds got their face slapped; unnecessarily British and whatnot.
Dad shot an incredulous glare at momma. “Really, Terri?” he crooned sarcastically, firmly back in Shogun form. “Nooo, officerrr… I’m not in dayyyneger of laaabor, but it HUUUUUURRRTS!” Dad mimicked momma’s impromptu histrionics perfectly.
“Oh hush, Barry! I was just tryin’ to help,” mom shot back between giggles. “You didn’t get the ticket, did you?”
Together, their gallows-laughter was the greatest musical duet I’ve ever heard. My parents loved comedy. Our bad days were terrible, but our good days could wring sunshine from a rainy evening dusk just like it did that spring evening. Dad’s laugh sounded like a chorus of good-humored seagulls. Mom’s laugh was carbonated; starting low, and then bubbling higher, eventually meeting dad’s seagulls high in the atmosphere. Though I’ll never hear either of their laughs again, it just occurred to me that they are always with me. Whenever I’m trying to make people laugh, all I’m really doing is trying to recapture this moment, if only for a moment.
sunset ignites clouds
terrain perfumed by rainclouds
inhale deep, smiling

All four of us! (Mom is pregnant with my younger brother in this photo.)
** *
Written for NaPoWriMo’s day 3 prompt, an elegy. I was also inspired by dVerse’s Haibun Monday: The Shadow Knows, hosted by Hayesspencer. I didn’t share it on dVerse though, as this isn’t a traditional Japanese Haibun. I did enjoy writing it though. There were some laughs and tears during the writing process.
Want to see how traditional Haibun are supposed to be crafted? Go here.
This… goodness, Barry. And, you look so much like your father now!
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You bring the page alive. I feel as if I have met these glamorous looking parents.
Must have been a hard one to write. Good memories and deep sadness I like you Mom’s professional voice…someone from Dynasty dripping with diamonds about to get their face slapped…LOL
The Bill Withers was a good choice to end ….positive and optimistic .
Submit this poem to Dverse.
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I read a haibun-like narrative by Jane Reichholdt, the expert on Japanese haiku, haibun, tanka and so on. http://www.ahapoetry.com Pages and pages of narrative with haiku as grace notes in between. The story was/is about her daughter who went hiking and how she followed her journey via map, mind and prayer. Just beautiful. I think at Dverse the preference of shorter narrative is set because of the time it takes to read, not necessarily because it fits the definition of what a traditional haibun is. Basho would write several haiku interspersed in his narrative. The link is open for a week! Did I say I loved this haibun? ‘Wringing sunshine from a rainy evening’s dusk’ is just about the best thing I’ve heard for a long while!
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Thank you for this comment. I had no idea how diverse haibuns could be! And thank you for reading mine. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
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I so happen to have another tab open right now, a blog by Nikki Skies. nikkiskies.wordpress.com. The month of April features the She Chronicles – mean are welcome to take part.
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I mean men are welcome
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